The Week Before Christmas Break

The past week was a busy week. But I'm really happy [because I just finished my term paper which by the way was corrupted so I have to do it all over again] because all I can think of is that tomorrow and the days after tomorrow, I will be hibernating!! Yay! Yay! Yay! Before I start hibernating, let me tell you everything things that happened last week.

Sunday

I performed in my first recital last week. I was so worried I almost thought of backing out because I caught cough and colds the night before. Fortunately, I did okay. I made minor flaws but...I think they're okay anyway.

My first song was "Steep". That was where my flaws appeared. I just learned the song, I'm sorry. My second song was "There You'll Be". Funny, when I reached the bridge, a familiar face entered the hall.

"'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength"

My sister arrived. Haha. Just in time to hear me end my performance. LOL. Anyway, thanks for being there. :)

We received a certificate after the recital.





Monday

I tried hard to wake up early and get to school early last Monday. We failed to decorate the Blind Date Booth last, last week so we needed to make up for it. Or...Aldrin will be mad. I bought stuff for the decorations last Sunday night. Thanks for coming, btw. :)

Look at the hearts I made for the booth!









































I spent the whole day watching people dance and listening to love songs. I listened to a lot of love songs it made me want to slit my wrists the next time I hear a love song. LOL. When I got home, the melody of Heaven Knows, The Gift, Destiny, A Very Special Love, You and Me, and Please Be Careful with my Heart kept ringing in my ears. For a moment I thought I was going mad.

Tuesday

The intramurals were scheduled only for the morning today. Like last Monday, we were watching couples dance, forcing people to dance, blindfolding people, listening to love songs, dancing :), and enoying the day.

I spent the afternoon watching movies at Effie's place.

I spent the night watching our teachers' concert. They held this 'concert for a cause' for our sick teacher. Get well soon :) I was able to enjoy the night [except for the cough I still have constantly bothering me] because:

1. I didn't get to play with the rondalla. Not that I have anything against our group, I just needed time to get away from responsibilities.

2. I didn't get to be in charge of the documentation of the concert. I mean, I already helped managing the Blind Date Booth. Don't you think that it's your turn to do the responsibilities for our club?

3. You were there. A lot of you were there. Thank you. I really missed you. :) *hug*



Wednesday

This was the Blind Date booth's third day. I was guessing that the students would be tired of getting blindfolded and getting paired to a stranger but I was wrong. We still had a lot of customers. LOL. I guess they loved the ambiance of our booth. I love the ambiance of our booth. I love our booth.

I'm beginning to get used to listening to love songs over and over. I still get an LSS after the day, though. I can't help it.



Thursday

This was our booth's fourth and last day. But it seemed like the students never get tired of dancing. Haha. I mean, they were doing it for the fourth day now. Aren't they tired of the same old thing? I did not get too tired of dancing anyway. I don't know. It made me feel happy and light and carefree and... Anyway, we earned a lot because of the inexhaustible students. Thanks.

We began cleaning up some hours later. I felt bad seeing our curtains and our hearts removed and the chairs being moved back. In a span of four days, I became attached to that room. To that dark room that never ceases playing love songs. I'll miss our booth. T.T

I'll miss dancing with the people...uhh...the people I dreamed of dancing with(?) While these people wait for their dates, I dance with them. So they won't get bored. Haha.

Friday

I have long waited for this day. Our Christmas Party was supposed to start at 8am but it started at 11am. I was really starving. My stomach was screaming a faint Feed me! Feed me! which reminds me that I haven't eaten a nice meal for days. I skip my breakfast. And I don't eat lunch at school. And I sometimes skip our dinner too because I want a newly-cooked meal. Not just something from the oven. So, I really enjoyed the food in our party. Hehehe. I was longing for a really nice meal.



I spent the afternoon at the mall and the rest of it worrying about how I could get the camera to my mom. I was texting a lot of people to know their whereabouts. I was going back and forth to meet my mom. I was flooding her with text messages because she won't reply. But all my efforts turned to waste. I ended up going back home to give her the camera then going back to school to watch the bandage. Sigh. Things I do for love.

I might seem like I didn't enjoy the bandage but...I did. I promise. It's just hard to give a smile when you don't feel like giving one. Again, I enjoyed the night.

I also sort of did my Christmas Eve in advance. Haha. Cheers!

Saturday

I spent this day sleeping. Haha. It was a tiring week, you know.

Anyway, Merry Christmas!

Files

I was downloading mp3s when an alert appeared saying that I don't have enough space for my files. So I did what I needed to do ― I cleaned up my files. I removed senseless games and deleted homeworks from the previous quarters. I came upon my chat archives [I always save IM conversations] and a homework way back in June.

Before pressing delete, I opened the chat archives. I spent an hour reading the messages and it sure did bring back a big lot of memories. The messages mostly talk about my life during my early senior year. There was something about a very bad day and two of my ex-classmates seeing me. There was something about me ranting about my teacher disapproving our SIP. There was something about me getting upset with an ex-classmate. There was something about an ex-classmate cheering me up. [LOL. A lot of ex-classmates are involved.] There was a lot, lot more about ex-classmates.

I also opened the homework way back in June. It was an autobiography we were asked to make so our AP teacher would know us better [which reminds me she has not returned mine yet, I need to get it back before someone reads my drama]. It was six pages long. My autobiography was a drama of my life. LOL. Reading it made me smile and cry at the same time, really. Reading it made me realize a lot of things.

My finger moved away from the Del key.

Why did I think twice before saying that I will take medicine? My autobiography said that I have always wanted to become a doctor.

My autobiography also said something about an exam I will be taking on November. I already took the exam and I passed. I earned my "black belt" already.

It also contained a list of my weaknesses. My second weakness was my friends. I love them. And I am willing to do anything for them. I also remember thanking them for their encouragement that lifted my spirits.

It sure made me realize a lot of things. It made me miss a lot of things. *SOB*

Reading it made me realize that I have changed. Unconsciously, as always. I am not sure whether to like or to dislike the changes that have occurred to me but...honestly, I do miss my old self. I do miss my old, cheerful self. I miss my a bit-optimistic self. I miss my quiet and calm self.

Reading it made me feel a little guilty. Changes are inevitable. I have said this before. I try to avoid changes but I have learned to accept them eventually. But it does not always have to happen negatively, right? This time I want to turn back time, not to watch as certain events happen in my life as I usually say, but to undo the modifications. But it's impossible to do that. So right now, I will try to change. I will try to change and bring back the past.

Confessions

I have this...weird talent. I tend to remember things ― stupid, ridiculous, irrational things. I remember them so vividly like 'you wore that once in an MTAP session last year' or 'your scent reminds me of our sophomore days' or 'Mary Angeli Mae was the name you made up when I asked you what the name of your cat was'. It was cool at first. People often get fascinated about it. But sometimes I remember too much of the stupid, ridiculous, irrational things. I remember each little detail. I remember exactly how the conversations went.

I stray from keeping grudges. It makes my life harder; it is difficult to bear. It gives me pain. But feeling bad about something is normal, I just don't keep it too long. I will release it in time. I forget it; you're forgiven. That's how I do things. I have always done that and it works all the time. But tonight as I vividly recall myself saying that I want to forget about it, it seems different. Tonight I realized, I have not forgot about it at all. The memory still lingers in me. It haunts me in my dreams.

I depicted Pride in our speech choir last year. If I have one overused deadly sin, that would be pride. I have lots of it. Actually, I guess I have too much. It's bad, I know, but it means a lot to me. I do my best to stick to my words even if it might cause pain to others. Yes, even if it might cause pain to others. One time I begged someone to celebrate this certain day with me. I was on my knees then. The person refused, a lot of times. When the certain day came, the person changed his mind. But I said, "You can't. I was begging on my knees and you turned me down." I value pride. I believe that like me, you remember the words you speak. You remember to do the words you speak.

It gives me pain remembering you denying what you said and defying what you said.

Wishlist

I have decided not to post a wishlist but defying my decision won't hurt, right?

1. Books

I want a book. I have been away from reading for a long time. If you're thinking about Meyer's Twilight, well, that's okay. I'm trying to stray from hating Twilight. Just don't spend the day ranting about how it gives you problems like you're playing Jasper and you can't find something to wear (OMG. Did I just say that?) or I'll hate Twilight again. I might even hate it forever. I watched the movie twice, BTW. Make it 1.5x. If you love a lot of people, watching it more than once is not impossible.

Going back, I want a book.

2. Dress

Yes, I want a dress. If you have spent a day at the mall with me, this is no news for you. I don't wear long dresses though. I'm not that tall, you know. And I hate bright colors.

3. Chocolates

This never leaves my wishlist.

4. Time

I want time. Things are starting to go fast and there's no way I can slow it down. No one can. So, I'm asking for time.

5. Happiness

No, I'm not depressed. I'm happy, actually. I'm completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy. Okay, I may not be completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy at the moment but...I've been one before. Maybe I'll become one again later.

I want happiness for everyone.