Ruined Mascara

Because I don't want to spoil the happy mood of my Facebook page which includes high school love, roommates love, and Momo's 18^th, I have decided to awaken my blog.

For the first time in my life, I'm dying to get back to QC. I have spag and pancakes and chips and TV and fast net connection and spacious house and piano all for free. But I'm willing to trade all those for our stuffed little bedroom, oh-so-slow internet connection, tired and aching feet, and a few people.

I want to start working on my papers and study my majors. Not that I don't want to cram, I actually enjoy the rush. Not that I want to devote my all to studies. Maybe I just need something to keep my mind off certain things. I want to just curl in that dim house by the playground with those four people and do nothing. Not that I am too tired, but indeed, I am tired. Maybe I just need one day to live as if there's nothing to worry about.

Lately I noticed that I have been performing so poorly. And I know that this is very far from the person I knew I was. I'm someone who works with excellence, or at least one who works good. Sometimes I just want to let go. I want to break free from my daily routine - go to school at 7AM, chill somewhere at 5:30PM, and go home around 8PM to do school stuff.

Why do I want to go back to QC this bad? Maybe because a huge part of my life is locked there and that's where I should start looking for answers. Not here at home.

Ideas and emotions are rushing into me so rapidly I can't put them into something coherent. Maybe I should not make a post at all.