Stories&Photographs

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Ruined Mascara

Because I don't want to spoil the happy mood of my Facebook page which includes high school love, roommates love, and Momo's 18th, I have decided to awaken my blog.

For the first time in my life, I'm dying to get back to QC. I have spag and pancakes and chips and TV and fast net connection and spacious house and piano all for free. But I'm willing to trade all those for our stuffed little bedroom, oh-so-slow internet connection, tired and aching feet, and a few people.

I want to start working on my papers and study my majors. Not that I don't want to cram, I actually enjoy the rush. Not that I want to devote my all to studies. Maybe I just need something to keep my mind off certain things. I want to just curl in that dim house by the playground with those four people and do nothing. Not that I am too tired, but indeed, I am tired. Maybe I just need one day to live as if there's nothing to worry about.

Lately I noticed that I have been performing so poorly. And I know that this is very far from the person I knew I was. I'm someone who works with excellence, or at least one who works good. Sometimes I just want to let go. I want to break free from my daily routine - go to school at 7AM, chill somewhere at 5:30PM, and go home around 8PM to do school stuff.

Why do I want to go back to QC this bad? Maybe because a huge part of my life is locked there and that's where I should start looking for answers. Not here at home.

Ideas and emotions are rushing into me so rapidly I can't put them into something coherent. Maybe I should not make a post at all.

10 Comments:

Blogger the bipolar stargazer said...

4 people? :( I'm not included? :(

July 19, 2010 4:06 PM  
Blogger Alyzza said...

Well, 5. If you promise to come to the dim house by the playground even just on Fridays. :p

July 19, 2010 11:00 PM  
Blogger the bipolar stargazer said...

You know I would if I could. :(

July 20, 2010 2:01 PM  
Blogger Joyce said...

I feel the same way--about the academic stuff. :( I hope we get through all these things without causing further damage. I know we both want to get into med school someday. Go us. >:D<

July 25, 2010 7:12 PM  
Blogger Alyzza said...

@EFFIE Lipat naaa! >:)

@JOYCE I know. Go us talaga. Gaaah.

July 26, 2010 8:58 AM  
Blogger the bipolar stargazer said...

Lipat ka jan. Masaya na ako sa Ateneo. :)) Namimiss ko lang talaga kayo pero I have my own dreams. :3

July 28, 2010 9:09 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Mid-sem crisis?


Ako na lang nagpangalan kasi parang normal lang siya na nangyayari sa college students. Yung kalagitnaan ng sem, parang tatamarin.


Kung meron man akong natutunan dito sa QC, yun ay yung pagsunod sa instincts ko. So, bigyan mo yung sarili mo ng kasiyahan kung feeling mo ay wala ka nang kasiyahan...


Tugma ba yung comment ko sa post mo?

O baka nahawa lang ako sa post mo, at naging malabo na rin ako...

Oh well... Text ka lang kung kailangan mo ng karagdagang kausap bukod sa apat o lima mong laging kasama. :)

July 29, 2010 11:22 PM  
Blogger Alyzza said...

Mid-sem crisis? So we get this twice a year? NOOOO!

Okayy, wala akong kasiyahan. Err... di ko alam kung ano ang makakapagpasaya saken ngayon. And that's whats bad kasi pag alam mo naman kung ano, you can make ways to have that. The problem is I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT.

Wow. :"> Tinext naman kita this week e. Mali kaya ung binigay mong number ni Cadiz! HAHAHAHA.

Dinner date, please!

July 29, 2010 11:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

aww, you're welcome in the dim house by the playground whenever you feel like just curling and doing nothing. :)

Lately I noticed that I have been performing so poorly

-hmm, i have to agree to this. but just a little bit. because i can see you're giving effort to your studies and i think you have to be credited for it(kahit hindi grades!).

good luck with your studies...


and, wait for your brazo!
:))

August 02, 2010 11:01 PM  
Blogger Alyzza said...

@ANONYMOUS Aww, thanks. But you know what? I don't have time to just curl and do nothing. Still, I'm wishing that maybe I could just forget everything and curl there.

SCHOOL KILLS. SERIOUSLY.

And the brazo, I'm waiting. :3

August 02, 2010 11:29 PM  

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