Conclusions

I am blue. I feel dispirited, pensive, depressed, lonely, and melancholic. I feel confused and anxious at the same time.

A few hours back...

I left the computer to get a bar of chocolate. I paced back and forth. I went to the porch. I went to my sister's bedroom. I stared at my drawings. I played the piano. I decided to watch a movie but ended up not finishing it due to lack of interest. I felt the desire to eat supper but I didn't have the appetite to. Do you know this feeling―when your stomach wants to eat but your mind doesn't want you to? And so I thought of turning to the computer to spill my thoughts.

Back to the present...

I have been thinking what might be the reason for my melancholy is. Is it that I feel easily disheartened by conclusions? Is it that I find moving on very difficult?

I dislike having [good] things to end. That's why, knowing that I have only two episodes left and that the series is about to end, I almost *cried during these two episodes of Ouran High School Host Club. The appearance of Lady Eclair made the greatest contribution. If it wasn't for her, the ending would not be that appealing and interesting. And Haruhi's dramatic scene calling out to his Tamaki-senpai would not come into existence if it wasn't her. Too bad that was not in the manga. Anyway, I need to stop my ranting here for that would be in a different post.

Having finished the manga may have also contributed to my somber mood. I haven't actually finished it since it's ongoing, what I meant is that I finished reading the latest chapter. Anyway, why did I choose to read something that has not been finished yet? It makes me so upset. Cliffhangers make me so upset. It makes me want to promise never to read manga which has not been given an ending yet.

Anyway, I should cut my post here. Prolonging this might result to rants which might make a following post about this impossible.

*What is it with me crying?! Or about to cry?! Why am I suddenly starting to get sentimental [over video games and anime]?!