Two Stars

I fell in love with a star.

She was my star. She promised me that she was mine forever and that when she shines, she shines for me. She said that she would shine whenever she feels happy and that she would shine even brighter if I gaze at her. She promised never to leave me and that when I look up at the night sky, she would be up there, shining. She said that when the clouds start to move and cover her, she would shine her brightest just so I would know that she was still there. My star was the loveliest star among the millions that scatter across the blanket of blue above.

And so I promised to be faithful to her, my star. I told her that I would never cease watching her. Me looking at her would make my star feel very happy. She would shine, then I would know that she is happy. And that would be enough to make me feel blissful.

Up in the sky, my star glittered while I watch her from my balcony. Indeed she shines bright, even brighter than the stars that surround her. She once told me that stars shine only when they are happy. Seeing her shine brighter than the other stars, I feel so satisfied for making her feel that way. I make her glitter. I make her happy. That's what I do to her.

But what she does to me, it's more than making me happy. It's more than making my lips smile. She gives me a weird feeling when she glitters. Her radiance...it makes me want her even more. I want to reach her, touch her, and wrap my arms around her...forever. I want to feel her. I had to have her or I'd die. But I can't, she forbade me to even try. She would be enraged if I tried. She spoke of a deep emptiness that would engulf me if I try to touch her. I don't want my star to get mad so I have to keep my distance and admire her from afar. I have to stay away from her. It was hard - knowing that she's there yet I can't reach her. But I tried to get past through that difficulty. I looked at her and I began to love her...even more. Her illumination amid the dark night sky makes me feel safe. With her light, I don't feel alone. I feel her presence. I feel a companion. I feel comforted.

Clouds slowly moved and began to cover her, but my star shone brighter. The clouds left her and there she was again, with her brilliance. She came back and I felt peaceful. I felt peaceful because once again, she glittered. From that moment on, I knew that nothing bad could ever happen to me. I felt safe with her.

She twinkled - I had never seen anything so perfect. Knowing that she was happy calmed my weary heart.

Suddenly something even brighter came. It was so fast I even failed to see whether my star struggled to surpass the sudden light. Light scattered everywhere, soon there were no traces of the black blanket where my star hung. I waited long for my star to return but there was only one light, one very bright light. How happy could that star be to shine that bright? Could my star possibly cease from shining? Why didn't she ask me to do more to make her happy?

I'm confused. I feel alone. Why does this new star shine even brighter when I look at her? Why does she come at this moment, this moment when I feel alone? Why can't my star shine when this new star can? Somehow I wish she was you, my star. I wish she was you. I know I did promise to be faithful, but...it's hard to be faithful when you push me away, when you stop me from reaching you. It's hard to be faithful when you yourself are making me stay away from you.