As I Do My Homework I
"Did you ever have to choose between something you wanted to do and something you had to do?" -Alfredo Salazar
Err...
Weeks ago, I watched "Dead Stars" in UP. Let's thank a friend who helped me kill time (2:30-6:30pm).
After having my ticket validated, I joined the queue that leads into the theater.
Me: Brian!
Brian: *turns around and approaches me*
Me: May kasama ka?
Brian: Wala.
Me: Ako din eh!
Let's thank another friend for watching the play with me. Watching stuff like this alone seems boring, right?
Must I talk about the entire play or just of the story? It's really hard. I'm no play critique, but I can say that the play went well. Anyway, it's just the story that I'm supposed to blog so to save time, here's my reaction paper and some bits I addedthat my professor will not like to see in a reaction paper.
The play started with Alfredo Salazar recalling what mess he had made of his life. He spoke of an “Esperanza” and a “Julia”. Alfredo Salazar was a bachelor, engaged to a woman named Esperanza. The two had been together for four years; their marriage was the only thing awaited by the society. However, Alfredo’s passion for Esperanza had already faded.
Alfredo, along with Don Julian (his father), decided to meet Judge Del Valle one evening. Consequently, the eve led to Alfredo meeting the judge’s sister-in-law, Julia. Eventually, Alfredo grew feelings for Julia. However, he thought that it was best to marry his fiancée.
Eight years later, Alfredo went on a business trip to the town where Julia lives. He found himself searching for Julia’s house and eventually catching up with each other's lives. When they had parted, he realized that his feelings for Julia had gone.
Basically, “Dead Stars” is a collection of complications faced by man. It is a compilation of “what-ifs” and regrets. There came a point in Alfredo’s life when he had to choose between the expectations of the society and his own desire. Alfredo and Esperanza were the “ideal” couple. Marriage was the only thing they needed. On the other hand, he developed feelings for Julia. She possessed the qualities he lacked—Julia completed Alfredo.
If I were Alfredo, I would be crushed, destroyed, and devastated. For days, I was actually thinking whom to choose. Will I follow my heart and break my fiancée’s or break mine and spend my entire life wondering what could have been? It would be torture thinking of the things that could have been. Will I be happier marrying Julia?
Like what Alfredo did, I would marry my fiancée. I remember Esperanza telling Alfredo that she was no longer young. She was correct. She spent her youth waiting for Alfredo’s proposal. And now, Alfredo is having second thoughts marrying her? Alfredo, I think, did the right thing. Esperanza suffered long enough. Indeed, she had lost her youth waiting for the proposal. Could he bear seeing Esperanza’s heart breaking? Whose youth had been exhausted from waiting for him? Alfredo would be really cruel had he chosen Julia.
Before he left for his business trip, I remember Alfredo telling his wife that he was not unhappy with his marriage. However, he never said that he was happy with it. He might have been happy if he had had a family with Julia, but Julia would never approve of it. She knew what Esperanza was to Alfredo. She, too, would not want to break the heart of Alfredo’s long-time lover. Their relationship would never work out.
During Alfredo’s visit to Julia eight years later, he discovered that Julia never married. At the same time, he also discovered that he no longer has feelings for Julia. His longing to see Julia again was no longer love, but nostalgia.
It was sad and depressing. No one, of the three characters, experienced true happiness from love. It was even more heartbreaking when Alfredo discovered that time had wiped away his feelings for Julia. I liked how Alfredo compared Julia to dead stars, “I had been seeing the light of dead stars, long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens.” Dead stars are celestial bodies that are long extinguished whose light can still be seen from the Earth. The light makes them seem like they still exist, similar to Alfredo’s feelings for Julia.
Really, I would be crushed if I were Alfredo and yes, I would marry Esperanza if I were unfortunate enough to be him. Marrying Esperanza will surely cause me emotional torture, thinking about the things that could have been. Marrying her will cause me neither happiness nor unhappiness. But...I know that Julia and I will never work out. Whichever way, it seems like a whole life wasted, right?
And Esperanza. My youth gone because of waiting for Alfredo's proposal? And Julia. Will I allow myself to make Alfredo call off the wedding? Will I make Alfredo grow even more apart from his fiancée?
"Men commit themselves when but half-meaning to do so, sacrificing possible future fullness of ecstasy to the craving for immediate excitement."
It's sad.
I am afraid. Very afraid. What if everything just leads to nostalgia? What if on that day, I will realize that the feeling I have is just nostalgia? Like dead stars, which only seem to be there. Make this pass. Fast.
Err...
Weeks ago, I watched "Dead Stars" in UP. Let's thank a friend who helped me kill time (2:30-6:30pm).
After having my ticket validated, I joined the queue that leads into the theater.
Me: Brian!
Brian: *turns around and approaches me*
Me: May kasama ka?
Brian: Wala.
Me: Ako din eh!
Let's thank another friend for watching the play with me. Watching stuff like this alone seems boring, right?
Must I talk about the entire play or just of the story? It's really hard. I'm no play critique, but I can say that the play went well. Anyway, it's just the story that I'm supposed to blog so to save time, here's my reaction paper and some bits I added
The play started with Alfredo Salazar recalling what mess he had made of his life. He spoke of an “Esperanza” and a “Julia”. Alfredo Salazar was a bachelor, engaged to a woman named Esperanza. The two had been together for four years; their marriage was the only thing awaited by the society. However, Alfredo’s passion for Esperanza had already faded.
Alfredo, along with Don Julian (his father), decided to meet Judge Del Valle one evening. Consequently, the eve led to Alfredo meeting the judge’s sister-in-law, Julia. Eventually, Alfredo grew feelings for Julia. However, he thought that it was best to marry his fiancée.
Eight years later, Alfredo went on a business trip to the town where Julia lives. He found himself searching for Julia’s house and eventually catching up with each other's lives. When they had parted, he realized that his feelings for Julia had gone.
Basically, “Dead Stars” is a collection of complications faced by man. It is a compilation of “what-ifs” and regrets. There came a point in Alfredo’s life when he had to choose between the expectations of the society and his own desire. Alfredo and Esperanza were the “ideal” couple. Marriage was the only thing they needed. On the other hand, he developed feelings for Julia. She possessed the qualities he lacked—Julia completed Alfredo.
If I were Alfredo, I would be crushed, destroyed, and devastated. For days, I was actually thinking whom to choose. Will I follow my heart and break my fiancée’s or break mine and spend my entire life wondering what could have been? It would be torture thinking of the things that could have been. Will I be happier marrying Julia?
Like what Alfredo did, I would marry my fiancée. I remember Esperanza telling Alfredo that she was no longer young. She was correct. She spent her youth waiting for Alfredo’s proposal. And now, Alfredo is having second thoughts marrying her? Alfredo, I think, did the right thing. Esperanza suffered long enough. Indeed, she had lost her youth waiting for the proposal. Could he bear seeing Esperanza’s heart breaking? Whose youth had been exhausted from waiting for him? Alfredo would be really cruel had he chosen Julia.
Before he left for his business trip, I remember Alfredo telling his wife that he was not unhappy with his marriage. However, he never said that he was happy with it. He might have been happy if he had had a family with Julia, but Julia would never approve of it. She knew what Esperanza was to Alfredo. She, too, would not want to break the heart of Alfredo’s long-time lover. Their relationship would never work out.
During Alfredo’s visit to Julia eight years later, he discovered that Julia never married. At the same time, he also discovered that he no longer has feelings for Julia. His longing to see Julia again was no longer love, but nostalgia.
It was sad and depressing. No one, of the three characters, experienced true happiness from love. It was even more heartbreaking when Alfredo discovered that time had wiped away his feelings for Julia. I liked how Alfredo compared Julia to dead stars, “I had been seeing the light of dead stars, long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens.” Dead stars are celestial bodies that are long extinguished whose light can still be seen from the Earth. The light makes them seem like they still exist, similar to Alfredo’s feelings for Julia.
Really, I would be crushed if I were Alfredo and yes, I would marry Esperanza if I were unfortunate enough to be him. Marrying Esperanza will surely cause me emotional torture, thinking about the things that could have been. Marrying her will cause me neither happiness nor unhappiness. But...I know that Julia and I will never work out. Whichever way, it seems like a whole life wasted, right?
And Esperanza. My youth gone because of waiting for Alfredo's proposal? And Julia. Will I allow myself to make Alfredo call off the wedding? Will I make Alfredo grow even more apart from his fiancée?
"Men commit themselves when but half-meaning to do so, sacrificing possible future fullness of ecstasy to the craving for immediate excitement."
It's sad.
posted by Alyzza @ 4:30 PM
7 Comments:
word verification: busne.
hell yeah, i liked the story...
it was one of the required readings for our fiction class. but then, since i liked reading even though not required, i found it easy to pity the fate of these characters.
but reading it takes the same amount of time as if it were to be set as a play. that's the downside of it anyway.
Coincidentally, we weren't required to watch the play either! But it was all worth it.
If I could just give the characters a hug, and tell them that it will pass. Soon.
Awww.What a touching story. I should have watched the play!
@Joyce Aw. You should have! I could have cried if Brian wasn't there. Hahaha.
word verification: exaggis
but it's all alfredo's fault of being too indecisive. we look at that angle, and he just goes to show that [warning: feminist approach] women tend to become objects of responsibility and desire.
anyways, i'll just hug the girls in the story.
Was it reallyAlfredo's fault? Err...what would you do if you were him?
word verification: endacrat
but knowing the situation, given the setting and the society's limits on me, i would have just married and let the other one go.
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